High Risk Opportunity Website 


Overcoming Fear

 

Introduction

 

Life was intended to be about growth and living large, and not limitations and living small.   Life is meant to be more and not less.  Life rarely turns out as we expect it, but that is no reason to fear life.  Life could be more than we image, but it is often less because of the fears that we harbor to keep us safe from imaginary losses. Whatever limitations are holding you back, they are imaginary, and they must be found and eliminated.    

 

“The only way you can gain the rung on the ladder you are climbing is to step off the one you are standing on.  As soon as you become afraid you won't get what I want, you automatically start using your excuses to stop yourself, almost guaranteeing that you won't get what you want.   Fear leads to powerlessness, and the feeling of being without power is a frequent source of fears.  You may not frequently feel the feeling you are trying to avoid because you've arranged your life to avoid them, but you are programmed to feel them if you change your behaviors and expose yourself to the circumstances that can trigger them.             Most people go through their lives justifying the limitations they've placed on themselves and that's how they keep their fear-limiting life intact. [1]

 

Fear is a belief that some external event or circumstance has the power can hurt you, and that you do not have the capability to deal with it.  The fear that drives most people is either 1) fear that we won’t get what we want, or 2) fear that we'll get what we don't want.   You can be hurt whenever something important can be taken away from you…life, health, relationships, possessions, and most importantly, your identity  (image, worth, esteem, etc.)  Fear can be healthy if it warns us to take precautionary measures to protects our self from lurking physical dangers for which fight or fright are appropriate responses.  But in modern society, we have few situations that require fight or flight responses.  So, fear gives us signals to be on guard as we move forward into uncharted territory, especially into situations that in the past resulted in undesirable consequences.   Since fearful future events haven’t happened yet, one’s imagine is free to roam and consider all possible downside scenarios.    Fear, which was meant to protect us, it is not healthy if it prevents us from living the quality life we deserve and desire to live. 

 

If you feel fearful and anxious, you have a choice.   You can either continue to live in fear and do more of what got you here, or you can begin to listen to your stress for what it is trying to tell you.  Stress, disharmony, and depression are all states in which divine love seems absent.  For so long as you feel fear, you are immobilized.   Fear blocks purposeful action.  You must learn to domesticate your fear.  Domesticating fear and learning to live in the present requires two things: 1) humility to let go of fantasies about the future, and 2) the courage to let go of the past.  The latter requirement means that we have to give up one of the ego's most cherished possessions, the story of whom it thinks it is (identity).  The next time you get caught up in fear, try paying attention to the beliefs or delusional story that is sustaining the fear.  Set aside the story and unhealthy beliefs, and instead, positively engage and attend to what clearly lies close at hand.[2]

 

Fear manifests itself in strong, negative emotions.   “Fear is the root cause of all negative emotions, unhappiness, and problems in human relationships.”[3]  Fear compels us to take extreme actions to protect ourselves from loss, and induces us with strong, compelling emotions. To rid ourselves of our negative emotions, which are the cause of most of our unhappiness, we need to find and confront the fear that lies behind it.

 

In summary, all our positive emotions are triggered by anticipation of gains to our self-image, and all our negative emotions are triggered by anticipation of losses to our self-image.   This handbook will teach you how to recognize the fears behind many of the negative emotions they produce and how to over come them.  Fears and other negative emotions are often considered in this handbook to be due to the same source…irrational thinking.   

 

Behind every negative emotion is a hidden fear.

C.W. Sooter

 

Almost all fears are learned (except loud noises and heights are inborn).  If a fear can be learned, fearlessness can be learned as well. Living fearlessly means growing beyond fear.[4]

 

All fears can be traced to a fear of loss of something important.  In everything we do, we risk the loss of something; even if we do nothing, we risk losses.   Life is a process of accepting the risk of loss.  You accept the potential of loss to live a more exciting and rewarding life.   The fear and pain of loss must be managed otherwise it allows for pain, narrows your choices and focus, and ultimately, fear becomes all-consuming, dominating every aspect of your life.  Fortunately, you can never loose the things that really matter, which is your character, virtue, and your potential to become all that you can be.   Everything else is replaceable…possessions, relationships, health, 

 

You can handle whatever life brings you but you are at your best when you have paved the way for the best to happen.  If you spend your life building values and beliefs that support the life you want to live, you will already be ready when either opportunities or crisis spring unexpected upon us.  

 

We may think that fear is our problem.  Fear is not the problem; how we handle the fear is the problem.              The best way to handle fear is not to gut our way through it, but to respect it, and change its source, which is the thoughts we hold in our subconscious that we violate.  Thoughts are easier to change than our behaviors in the presence of fear. 

 

Everyone wrestles with some core fear.   Most people fear that they are not good enough…to attain their dominant needs.[5]          

 

While many fears are common in substance, our route to learning them takes a thousand forms.   For example, some people fear not only failure, but they also fear being average.  Whatever the fears, you must confront them before you can conquer them.[6] When we confront fears, they disappear. When we take action, fear subsides.[7]

 

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

Bertrand Russell

 

This handbook will focus on eliminating the unhealthy fears that restrain us from living a fully functioning life and becoming all we are capable of becoming by taking positive action and changing the source of our fears…which is our core beliefs.


 


[1] Jut Meininger, How to Run Your Life

[2] Borysenko & Dveirin, Your Soul's Compass

[3] Brian Tracy, Maximum Achievement

[4] Doyle Surratt

[5] Gary Smilley

[6] David Burns

[7] Andrew Mathews

 

 

 

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Website last updated on 9/4/16
Copyright ©2005 Charles W. Sooter.  All rights reserved.